Notable Quotables

"Why does your alarm sound like Dogen’s gay dance party?"

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 21:46:31 -0400

“Why does your alarm sound like Dogen’s gay dance party?”

- Alex Goldstein

Harrison: Aw, that's so nice, Albert Pujols kissed his son

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 22:11:41 -0400

Harrison: Aw, that's so nice, Albert Pujols kissed his son
Jordan: That's gay

"So we pulled out of Iraq today. I didn’t even realize we weren’t wearing a condom."

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:43:11 -0400

“So we pulled out of Iraq today. I didn’t even realize we weren’t wearing a condom.”

- Alex Goldstein

"Party at my house. BYO OxyClean."

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 16:03:04 -0400

“Party at my house. BYO OxyClean.”

- Jake Walter-Warner

"Do my twat now"

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:39:33 -0400

“Do my twat now”

- Jen Lesser @ Harrison Chad

"LOST is actually an acronym. It stands for Lamar Odom Shoots Two. Nobody knows why, but obviously..."

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:07:35 -0400

“LOST is actually an acronym. It stands for Lamar Odom Shoots Two. Nobody knows why, but obviously he was fouled”

- Michael Emerson

Circumcision gone horribly awry

Thu, 28 May 2009 18:00:56 -0400

Jordan: I worked at a bris, maaaaad foreskin
Jessica: Yum
Jordan: That is disgusting
Jessica: Hopefully you weren't serving the foreskin
Jordan: People thought they were eating cream cheese with bits of lox in it...they weren't
Jessica: Jordan, that's just gross. Some things are funny and some things aren't
Jordan: They were scallions

"I wish I had goiter so I could make fun of myself"

Sat, 23 May 2009 02:04:08 -0400

“I wish I had goiter so I could make fun of myself”

- Luke Flanagan

"For my friend at school, ‘no’ means ‘yes’ and ‘yes’ means..."

Wed, 20 May 2009 19:33:48 -0400

“For my friend at school, ‘no’ means ‘yes’ and ‘yes’ means ‘anal’”

- Stephanie Hasher

Greg: Naked frisbee at the beach

Mon, 18 May 2009 20:19:40 -0400

Greg: Naked frisbee at the beach
Nicole: Greg, what is it with you and naked people tonight?

"These women are trying to run the world, one small town at a time"

Mon, 18 May 2009 11:00:49 -0400

“These women are trying to run the world, one small town at a time”

- Ethan Wieselthier, re: his mom and her PTA friends who are running for Board of Ed

"Live your life, I won’t fuck with you"

Sat, 16 May 2009 14:28:49 -0400

“Live your life, I won’t fuck with you”

- Cody, my freshman year RA

"I’m drunk and I just brought back a girl to my room only to find out she is a lesbian"

Wed, 13 May 2009 09:32:03 -0400

“I’m drunk and I just brought back a girl to my room only to find out she is a lesbian”

- Scott Strenger

"I saw Fallingwater and I JIZZED, IN MY PANTS!"

Mon, 11 May 2009 17:39:24 -0400

“I saw Fallingwater and I JIZZED, IN MY PANTS!”

- Alex Goldstein

Jordan: Wait, so you did the baseball field thing? Like, you went to first at first and second at second and whatnot?

Fri, 08 May 2009 11:18:22 -0400

Jordan: Wait, so you did the baseball field thing? Like, you went to first at first and second at second and whatnot?
Michelle: Haha no, but I really really wanted to!
Jess: *Walking in* Wanted to do what?
Jordan: The baseball field trick.
Jess: What is that, code for anal?

JR: I've always got one ear on my music and one ear on the world

Wed, 06 May 2009 09:21:20 -0400

JR: I've always got one ear on my music and one ear on the world
AG: What is that, some sort of metaphor?
JR: Not at all. Completely literal.

"Did you go to Cinco de Mayo day at the dining hall? I got the Swine Flu Salad."

Tue, 05 May 2009 19:28:37 -0400

“Did you go to Cinco de Mayo day at the dining hall? I got the Swine Flu Salad.”

Jordan: I've resurrected Notable Quotables, so it's incentive for you all to say something funny

Tue, 05 May 2009 12:14:49 -0400

Jordan: I've resurrected Notable Quotables, so it's incentive for you all to say something funny
Ethan: Tits.

"This hole is gonna be wider than a virgin’s vagina after an encounter with Ron Jeremy. ..."

Mon, 04 May 2009 23:41:04 -0400

“This hole is gonna be wider than a virgin’s vagina after an encounter with Ron Jeremy. It’ll be mad deep too.”

- Jake Walter-Warner, re: digging a hole at the beach

Welcome to the NQ

Mon, 04 May 2009 23:35:22 -0400

Notable Quotables has been something I created back in 8th grade and have been keeping up with on and off with since then. It was originally a page on my SubProfile, then it became a facebook group. To keep all else informed, I’ve moved it here to Tumblr. Enjoy!